The Crazy Contents of the Oscars Goodie Bag

Why do people go to the Oscars? To get their faces inn the public eye? To celebrate the success of their peers? For the post awards parties? To show off their new clothes? Judging by the contents of this year’s goodie bag, given to every attendee, it could just be for the freebies!

This year’s goodie bag – which will, let’s face it, mean NOTHING to the rich and powerful in attendance – is worth $232,000, or a ridiculous £160,000 if you prefer. It’s insane!

Jospeh's Toiletries Toilet Roll

£268 for bog roll. Like wiping your bum with £10 notes!

Amongst the totally nuts gifts are a roll of toilet paper worth $389, a Vampire Breast Lift – blood is drawn and injected into the breast for a better cleavage! – and $425 worth of personalised M&Ms! Wonder which men will take advantage of that breast lift!

Here’s the full rundown.

  • 10-Day First Class Trip to Israel ($78,000)
  • Batch of Audi A4 Rentals ($64,000)
  • 15-Day Walking Tour of Japan for Two ($76,000)
  • Roll of Joseph’s Toiletries Toilet Paper ($389)
  • 3 Private Training Sessions with Jay Cardiello star of ABC’s My Diet Is Better Than Yours ($1,980)
  • A Lifetime Supply of Skin Creams ($44,140)
  • Laser Skin Tightening by 740 Park MD ($7,823)
  • Fit Club TV “Ultimate Fitness Package” in a Private Villa ($8,840)
  • Haze Dual V3 Vaporizer ($354)
  • Personalised M&Ms ($425)
  • Vampire Breast Lift ($2,688)

Like I said, absolutely insane. So just bear in mind that if you ever get the opportunity to attend an Oscars ceremony it’ll be well worth your while for the gift bag alone. Forget about the glitz and glamour!

Of course, it’s not as good as our own Oscars Bundle, right?