The Strangest American Candy and Soda (That Actually Exists)
Some things are just too strange to exist; zombies, the romantic comedy I wrote starring Arnie and Jennifer Lawrence and Diet Coke with Bacon.
I wrote a little bit about the latter in my most recent post, and I was actually pretty surprised to find that a lot of folks were disappointed that it doesn’t exist. It seems like there’s a bit of a market for weird food and drink, even if Coca Cola ain’t willing to target it.
Luckily, for those of you who like your food and drink a little bit strange, there are plenty of food companies in the States more than willing to make weird products that’ll send the average person reaching for the comfort of Lucky Charms and Skittles quicker than The Flash running for a train when he’s late for work!
Here are some of the strangest candies and sodas that actually exist (or at least did at some point)!
Buffalo Wing Soda
To be honest, when I first read about Buffalo Wing soda, I had to double check that it actually existed. I thought it was going to be like the time I thought Kentucky Fried Cereal was real (seriously, chicken cereal would have changed American cereals forever) and camped outside my local KFC to try it out.
Gravy on cereal is the life-changing innovation humanity has been crying out for.
Unlike the entirely fake Kentucky Fried Cereal, however, Buffalo Wing soda is entirely real and isn’t just a bottle of Frank’s Hot Sauce blended with blue cheese. The soda is the brainchild of Lester Fixins, who are the undisputed master of weird drinks (sweetcorn soda, anyone?).
If you’re tempted by the idea of drinking blended up chicken, don’t get too excited; a review by the Huffington Post gave this soda 2.3/10 for taste and, more damningly, just 2.7/10 for how much it tastes like Buffalo Wings. Weird ideas are sometimes best just left in the imagination…
Onion Ring Mints
…case in point, Onion Ring mints. I’d love to meet the guy who woke up one day and decided what the world needed was a mint that does the complete opposite of what a mint is supposed to do. But lo and behold, here is the Onion Ring mint, which tastes of onion rings and is guaranteed to give you plenty of personal space wherever you go.
For a real taste sensation, the manufacturer of Onion Ring mints recommends accompanying them with their Ranch flavor mints. Yes, really.
Open your eyes, though, and you’re confronted by something that looks exactly like a cow poop. It doesn’t even accidentally look like a cow poop; it’s MEANT to look like a cow poop.
Factor in the image on the front of the box, a cow reaching for a jar of peanut butter before it answers nature’s call and you’ve probably got the world’s grossest candy ever. Well, you’d think so anyway…
Candy bodily fluids
Come back, Cow Pie, all is forgiven! Seriously, if you can even stomach the thought of eating sour candy made to look like blood and pee, you’re a much braver person than I am. I’m off to go and puke and hope that no candy companies take any inspiration from it.
So those are some of the weirdest candies and sodas that actually exist. Any you’ve come across that you think I should have included? Get in touch on Twitter @AStoneHCO, on Facebook or leave a comment below. Sweet eating, Stonites!